1. |
Airport Music
01:34
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2. |
U.P.S.
04:37
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Email songs back and forth to make a tenuous connection to what we think that this is worth. Are we capable of perfection?
Do we take the risk and bet it all on what we have to offer?
And can we still call ourselves punk if we like to use big words?
If you don't listen too close, will you like what you have heard?
Because there's nothing I can do and there's nothing I can say to convince myself these songs, ideas, dreams, thoughts, or relationships will stay.
"I know that this won't last forever, but let's enjoy this while we can,"
or so we tell ourselves as we pretend we have a plan to keep our shit together as we cling tightly to the ground.
This won't last forever, this idea's run aground.
And I thank god we’re not alone and that we’ve got each other now.
Even though we’re all fucked currently we’ll make it work somehow.
And I don’t know where we went wrong or if it will be long before we break the promise of a life left unfulfilled, leaving footprints in the sand of a dream that we have killed.
Pleading innocence we make our stand waiting for judgment day, calling witnesses to offer up our alibis for when we dared to say
"I know that this won't last forever, but let's enjoy this while we can,"
or so we tell ourselves as we pretend we have a plan to keep our shit together as we cling tightly to the ground.
This won't last forever, this idea's run aground.
This is it
It's the end of the line
You sold your dreams for a bit of time
What did you get, full of selfish regret
You sold your time
On the ground you lie, wondering "how did it come to this?"
"I know that this won't last forever, but let's enjoy this while we can,"
Or so we tell ourselves as we pretend we have a plan to keep our shit together as we cling tightly to the ground.
This won't last forever, this idea's run aground.
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3. |
Live Here Now
02:43
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When you feel like you won’t have a home until you’re 28 years old, there’s only one thing left to do.
And that’s to maintain all your hopes and dreams, leave bloody fingerprints at the scene of the crime.
There is no exit. What would you do? What would I do?
Maybe you’ll marry the next person that you meet and all your friends will be invited, get drunk and give good speeches while the limos wait in long dark lines like the tire marks they left behind.
Even though it all went wrong, there’s something to cling to:
I live here now
And when you sit inside a cube all day and talk to strangers, try to make enough to pay your rent
Those aforementioned hopes and dreams might seem a little bittersweet, but at least you’re getting paid to write down lyrics.
What would you do? What would I do?
Pull off the freeway and onto your street.
Drive past the houses of the families you never thought to meet.
They’re all the same, and even then the things were different: the street isn’t yours.
Even though it all went wrong, there’s something to cling to:
I live here now
When the car pulls up outside, be ready for your exit.
They’re coming to take you and make you realize you’re ready for this.
This is the end of the beginning; it’s time to grow up, kid.
Even though it all went wrong, there’s something to cling to:
I live here now
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4. |
The Flood
04:00
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The rain is falling
It’s coming up through the floor
Neon lights scream “here we are”
In a city made of leather
Inches of water lining the road
A homeless man sells you a paper
And here we go again
The water’s filling up the room
And here we go again
It’s never quite what you assume
You’re making lists of all your fears, and that doesn’t do a damn thing.
The years are passing faster than you’d like, and the water’s reached the basement.
Nothing to do with your time, so steal all the rhymes
Think about growing out your hair
Don’t spare two thoughts for yourself or anyone else
The water’s creeping up the stairs.
The flood is coming soon
Maybe it won’t stop, maybe this is it, but maybe we’ll all feel better in the morning.
Sink to the floor, no let’s all have one more
Pull yourself over to the window
And so you see suddenly, breathe a sigh of relief that you made it through the year
Because they keep going faster and you can’t remember how it is that you ended up here
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5. |
Coming Up For Air
03:55
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I woke up in a daze this morning, teeth were falling out
And dreams escaped through crevasses left within my mouth left open wide, hoping that this plan might really work
And there’s no way that I deserve it but maybe there’s a place reserved for fuckups just like me who’ve lost it
Where we can be ourselves and you can all pretend it’s nice but know that deep down, of course we’ll want it to be hell
She’s sitting in an airport wondering how things got to this
Just another task, another thing to do, something to cross off a list
Do you ever wish that you could go back and find what you lacked?
She smiles and says this is who I am now, I tried to forget everything I ever knew
Because maybe if I do then I can start anew
Maybe we’ll write a better song
And we’ll hope that we’ll be home before too long
Maybe we could find a better way to say “anyway, there’s not much we can do here, so we might as well give up.”
Because we’re slowly drowning, can barely make a sound that’s not been swallowed up by people who, still clinging to the ground crushed by their fears of knowing nothing but still eager to believe that there’s something up above and a reason to believe that I won’t let myself down again
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6. |
Absurdity
03:10
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I’d like to write a love song, but I can’t find the words
And I know I’ll sound ridiculous, or at the very least absurd
And now I’m clinging to a little sign of life and
This all seems so stupid like we had no choice to be
All of a sudden anything other than you and me
And now I’m hoping that I haven’t made this up
Ten days left (our time is almost out then)
One month left (Oh god it’s catching up to me)
Three years left (But maybe I can make it stop)
But maybe I can make it stop
And now it feels like we’re falling apart
Pull it together, let’s get back to the start
And now I feel like I’ve been awake for so long
That if I stop or stumble I’ll instantly fall into slumber
Then something happens and I start to wonder if I’m wrong and that I’ve been asleep for so long that the dream’s become real and reality wrong
And now there’s ten days left (our time is almost out then)
One month left (oh god it’s catching up to me).
Three years left (But maybe I can make it stop)
But maybe I can make it stop
And they’ll say that this is the end, there’s nothing else left but the suit and the salary (but why aren’t we listening?)
Ten days have gone by, one month passing me, why?
Three years won’t wait while the dream turns to memory
Just couldn’t leave the money
Just couldn’t leave the chance to say
Ten days left (I guess our time is out then)
One month left (Oh god, I guess it’s up to me)
Three years left (But maybe I can make it stop)
But maybe I can make it stop
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7. |
Notes From Underground
03:09
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A foundation made of cracks, but it’s something to build on.
We cling tight to the rails to keep from falling off the tracks,
And I know change might not come, but I’m prepared to lose what it is that we’ve become and what it is that we have won
A mansion filled with dust, but it’s somewhere to steal from
We’ll kill the ones we trust to keep from falling out of line.
And I know we might all die, but one day you’ll lose, and you’ll regret all the lies, and what it is you have done
Smoke rises from the underground, try to ban the flames and it all burns down again and again and we tell each other "this is the best way out of this place."
Yes, you’ve done very well for yourself, you must be so goddamn proud of yourself.
And yes, technically, there’s nothing we can do, but everything either ends badly or abruptly and when no one has input in the grand scheme of what happens your crystal palace will come crashing down around you
A burned-out, empty room, but it’s somewhere to play to
Your good intentions have been long since burned away
And we are not one step closer than we were when this started
But you’ve taken all you could from the hands that reached out
The same stage as before, but it’s one that we paid for
Hang on, did anybody think you cared at all?
When you stole hard-earned money and called it a loan?
When you took something there and called it your own?
Smoke rises from the underground, try to ban the flames and it all burns down again and again and we tell each other "this is the best way out of this place."
Yes, you’ve done very well for yourself, you must be so goddamn proud of yourself.
And yes, technically, there’s nothing we can do but chain ourselves to you.
Smoke rises from the underground
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8. |
Hurt
02:55
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I hurt myself today to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole, the old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away, but I remember everything
What have I become, my sweetest friend?
Everyone I know goes away in the end
You could have it all, my empire of dirt
I will let you down.
I will make you hurt.
I wear this crown of shit upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time the feeling disappears
You are someone else. I am still right here.
What have I become, my sweetest friend?
Everyone I love goes away in the end
You could have it all, my empire of dirt
I will let you down.
I will make you hurt.
If I could start again a million miles away,
I would keep myself.
I would find a way.
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9. |
The Distance
02:58
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Reluctantly crouched at the starting line,
Engines pumping and thumping in time.
The green light flashes, the flags go up.
Churning and burning, they yearn for the cup.
They deftly maneuver and muscle for rank,
Fuel burning fast on an empty tank.
Reckless and wild, they pour through the turns.
Their prowess is potent and secretly stearn.
As they speed through the finish, the flags go down.
The fans get up and they get out of town.
The arena is empty except for one man,
Still driving and striving as fast as he can.
The sun has gone down and the moon has come up,
And long ago somebody left with the cup.
But he's driving and striving and hugging the turns.
And thinking of someone for whom he still burns.
He's going the distance.
He's going for speed.
She's all alone
In her time of need.
Because he's racing and pacing and plotting the course,
He's fighting and biting and riding on his horse,
He's going the distance.
No trophy, no flowers, no flashbulbs, no wine,
He's haunted by something he cannot define.
Bowel-shaking earthquakes of doubt and remorse,
Assail him, impale him with monster-truck force.
In his mind, he's still driving, still making the grade.
She's hoping in time that her memories will fade.
Cause he's racing and pacing and plotting the course,
He's fighting and biting and riding on his horse.
The sun has gone down and the moon has come up,
And long ago somebody left with the cup.
But he's striving and driving and hugging the turns.
And thinking of someone for whom he still burns.
Cause he's going the distance.
He's going for speed.
She's all alone
In her time of need.
Because he's racing and pacing and plotting the course,
He's fighting and biting and riding on his horse.
He's racing and pacing and plotting the course,
He's fighting and biting and riding on his horse.
He's going the distance.
He's going for speed.
He's going the distance.
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10. |
Fragile
05:18
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A silent alarm deep within
Each day ends and begins anew
In strictest time the shadows dance
The clock betrays him, nothing to lose
Puts on his shoes, laces half-tied
Closes the door, can’t stomach goodbyes
Closes his eyes, the pressure takes him away
As the world explodes into colors and candlelight
You watched as the shoreline collapsed in the night
Why do I assume that you’ll be at the end of the earth, waiting for me?
Echoing the ebb and flow of your breathing in the wind, your soul
Subconscious sleep carries him down through his memories, his mind set at ease.
No more enemies, the pressure takes him away
As the world explodes into colors and candlelight
You watched as the shoreline collapsed in the night
Now we’ll carry this flag unfurled
This is not where we are supposed to be
Can’t you see we are not meant for this world
And now you know I’m not as strong as I was before
So without you I will fall
Leave it all – we are not meant for this world
The definition of damnation roars
A shouting voice, a proclamation soars
And now you feel what you could not have seen
The secret lie of someone in between
A silent alarm
Deep within
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11. |
Asylum Song
04:00
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And there’s people, they’re playing pianos in public so everyone can know that they’ve something to offer, more than 16 numbers, convinced of their self-worth.
So you see suddenly, breathe a sigh of relief that you made it through the year
'Cause they keep going faster and you can’t remember how it is that you ended up here
And those eyes always see the same thing
And those sighs always sound the same to me
And you keep seeing people and thinking you know them, but wrong, they’re all the same: just another pretty face that’ll give you a place ‘til you finally go insane.
And when that day comes it’s been selfishly won, no regard for all the rest
And you’ll change your life, your face, your ways, your pace, your sound, your gait, and escape from inside your head
And I will visit you inside a little room
Take from you just exactly what I needed to build a place for us to live
Give nothing that is ours to give
Let people stop and stare.
Don’t we all want to be displayed in times square and say
"Time spent waiting’s time spent wasted?"
Hoping the songs will blot out the days when you can’t get it right and you fail when you fight to forget all the things you’ll do wrong and it’s not enough to get it out, write it down, write a shitty song and then hope no one notices the words are all wrong.
Rip them out of a book, glue them onto a page and think maybe they’ll say what we’re trying to say
Is that it’s probably not enough to wish you were better, so get those nails out, hang it up on the wall.
Let’s paint a mural about all our failures, then purge and collapse on the steps of that church where we wrote it all down
And tried to float away before the record skipped,
erasing all we tried to say, tearing pages from the script.
The words left on the page read
Time spent waiting’s time spent wasted.
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12. |
Over 18
01:45
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Now I'm over 18 and everything turned out alright
Now I'm over 18, but still I'm anxious every night
Now I'm over 18; I've been waiting here too long
Now I'm over 18. Let me hit that bong.
I'm over 18.
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13. |
GR3GR
02:41
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And I don’t want to love you anymore.
I left Grand Rapids, left it all, and I hoped that you were gone, but now I find there’s no easy way, I always hit a wall, and all that’s left is to sit and hope that maybe I am wrong about myself and about everybody else.
This world has better people, it’s not just yourself.
And you know it's not as bad as all that, you’ve still got your friends and you’ve still got your health, still got your brains and a good chance at wealth.
Your life’s great, don’t get used to it.
You made your problems, yes you did, you made this bed, so go lie in it, and here’s another cliché to get you through the night.
And here we are, stranded by ourselves again.
The party’s over, nothing left but to try and remember when we relied upon ourselves and nothing else at all.
The risk too high, the fall too far.
What if we lose it all and forget what we wanted all along?
Everything stretched out before me, but what if I choose wrong?
Well I’ll take comfort and know I’m not alone.
Everyone else is in the same boat
Cross our fingers and pray like hell it floats, but if it doesn’t, we’ll go down together.
We’ll talk until the break of dawn, keep everything from going wrong.
You’re not alone, at least we’ll have these songs.
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14. |
Shit, Man
05:37
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I’m staying up way too late again.
I’d wake up early, and I’d go to somewhere far away where nobody cares if I stay, but I’d be unhappy there alone.
When everything feels unimportant, how do you know what to hold?
Sometimes it all feels so predetermined. Maybe music can save my soul.
At least we still have got some time left, with which to build a better world.
You’ll be successful and I’ll remember when we put music to our words
And it’ll hurt to know no one will hear these songs. Is that so wrong?
I’m not yet ready to give up on dying fires fanned too much, but it still all comes down to luck.
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Kenny and the Swordfish Hartland, Michigan
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katswordfish@gmail.com
Facebook: facebook.com/KennyandSwordfish
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